by TRIAD MOMS ON MAIN CO-MANAGER SANDY HARPER

As moms, we give and give. We give our time, love, help, support and, most of all, grace. Yet, we rarely give ourselves grace. This got me thinking about things I need to remember for myself. If I need to remind myself of these, I figured most moms needed a reminder, too. And no, these are not the types of things you need to remember as part of your to-do list!

So, here are 10 things to remember:

1. Taking time for yourself is different for every mother. We are all told we need to take time for ourselves, yet this looks different for everyone. Some moms can take that girls’ weekend. Other moms just want a solo hike in the mountains. While moms in a season of babies are good with just getting a quiet moment with coffee and a book. This time for yourself will evolve as your seasons of life change. Don’t get hung up on thinking time for yourself has to look a certain way because of someone else.
2. If you don’t think you are good enough Mom, then you are. When you worry you haven’t done or given enough, stop! 99.9% of the time you have gone above and beyond what you needed to do. Also, never underestimate how much your kids adore you. No matter their attitude and whining, they know you are their safe haven.
3. Do not compare yourself to others on Instagram or anywhere else. Oh, this is a big one! Sadly, we all know not to do this, but it almost seems instinctive to allow these thoughts to creep into our minds. Honestly, the best way to stop these comparative thoughts is stepping away from whatever is causing them. This could be social media, toxic relationships or TV shows (hello HGTV). A hiatus from these and focusing on your own life can help you gain perspective.
4. Tomorrow is another chance to start over or try again. How many times do we try something new, write a to-do list or plans change and we feel like we’ve failed at the end of the day? Just because what you had tried to do didn’t happen or come out like you wanted, doesn’t mean you can’t try again! Waking up in the morning means we have a chance at it all over again.
5. You’re beautiful. We are all unique moms and have so many different talents. Movie star looks are not what makes us beautiful. You can exude beauty every day with just two things – pure confidence in yourself and sharing a smile with all you meet.
6. No, you do not owe your child (name of something they really want). With three kids of my own, this one gets me often. They certainly can play on our emotions. Now, obviously, I am not talking about life necessities like shelter, food, education and love. I speak of the latest trend, toy or outing. We are all born with a wanting desire, and it is extremely strong in our kids thanks to the help of many outside sources. Typically, I remind them that they can wait for a holiday or special occasion. Or, best of all, they can earn what they want through chores or jobs.
7. Take time to eat more than your kid’s leftovers. Seriously Mama, make yourself a plate and sit down! I was horrible at making something for the kids, especially breakfast and lunch, and then forgetting to make something for myself to eat. Sometimes, I just munched on what they didn’t eat or chose a quick, unhealthy option. There is nothing wrong with taking a break from tasks to do something as important as eating a nutritious meal.
8. Following a dream, hobby or career is not selfish. On the contrary, it is beneficial for your children to see you following a personal passion or goal. They get to see you fail, win, work hard, grow, learn, improve and deal with frustration. Most of all, they get to see you happy doing something you love.
9. Slow down. It seems nowadays that being busy is a badge of honor. However, it is only making motherhood that much harder. You do not have to be at all the PTA meetings, contribute to every bake sale or join all the clubs. Saying “no” is okay! And, quite freeing. Take time off to just be, and enjoy this moment in life with the family in front of you.
10. Give yourself grace! Do I even need to expand on this one? You are an amazing mom, but you are only human. So, give yourself the same kindness and benefit of the doubt that you give your children, husband, friends and even strangers.