The year our son was born, his father and I began collaborating on a secret endeavor we called the Birthday Book. Every year on our son’s birthday, we would pause to reminisce and celebrate the blessing of our long-awaited only child. We did this in a way that froze special childhood moments in time, not only for us, but also for our son. Our Birthday Book simply consists of letters, love letters from his father and me. Because the entries were crafted while our memories of the previous year were fresh, these annual letters trace a precious path through the years.
The goal was to create a handwritten legacy that we would present to our son on a yet-to-be determined milestone birthday many years in the future. But, here’s the bittersweet truth – time really does fly! That milestone day, which once seemed so far away to us as young parents, came for us in 2024. So, yes, I am writing in hindsight about our Birthday Book, hoping to encourage you to create one for each of your children. I promise you won’t regret it!
In addition to capturing precious, fleeting moments of childhood, a Birthday Book might one day answer your grownup child’s questions, such as:
What Was I Like When I Was Little?
A Birthday Book is a golden opportunity to show an adult child what a delightful little person he or she was. Here are two excerpts from our Birthday Book:
From Daddy. One night, I was working in the office downstairs in the house. You had trouble sleeping because of an extra-long nap that day, so you came quietly knocking at my door at 11:30 p.m. You were wide awake, and you crawled up onto my lap while I was working on the computer. Then, you looked up at me and said, “Dad, do you know things about God and stuff?” I replied “yes,” and you went on to ask me why God gave us toenails.
From Mommy. One day, we were in the garage, and you noticed some white masks hanging on the pegboard. Daddy had used them to cover his nose and mouth while spraying paint. You stared up at them and said in a tone of amazement, “Did you guys used to be dentists?”
What Traits Were Evident When I Was Young?
Early on, we noticed that our son had a love for detail, a great sense of humor, a fondness for books and language, and, as the excerpt below shows, a loving, sensitive spirit.
From Mommy. On Christmas morning, you entered the living room and saw a pile of presents under the tree. We expected you to dive in and begin ripping paper, but you didn’t. Instead, you asked your daddy to search among the presents for the gift your dad helped you pick out for me. The expression on your face as you handed me the precious package will be etched in my memory forever. Your eyes beamed a mixture of love and joy and pride. Carefully, I opened the gift. It was a Raggedy Ann doll like the one I told you I had as a little girl. That doll is a gift I will always treasure, but the way you gave it was an even greater gift.
Did My Parents Really Love Me?
Even adults who had happy, secure childhoods sometimes seek proof that they were loved as children. No one knows what the years ahead may hold for your family. If what is now unthinkable should occur – parental death or divorce – if your adult child ever doubts their parents’ love, their Birthday Book will contain your handwritten reassurance.
Tips for Creating a Birthday Book
A Birthday Book is an heirloom that only a parent can create. No one else holds the key to the treasure chest of memories that bond a unique parent to a unique child. Even though it costs practically nothing, a Birthday Book is priceless!
Here are five tips:
- Buy a Book
Choose a hardcover book with blank, lined pages. Buy a large book, so you don’t run out of room in just a few years.
2. Keep Notes
As things occur in your child’s life, make notes. When the time comes to write your Birthday Book entry, you will have everything you need.
3. Use Scratch Paper First
If you organize your thoughts on scratch paper before you write in the book, it will help eliminate unnecessary details and minimize mistakes that you will have to cross out.
- Give Examples
Instead of writing, “You are a curious five-year-old,” write what your child actually said and did that shows their curiosity. Real stories will help bring your Birthday Book to life.
5. Begin This Year.
You can start a Birthday Book at any point in your child’s life. Don’t dismiss the idea just because your child may be beyond their preschool years. Every year is full of memories that you can preserve forever on paper!
