Each month, this series introduces fun and impactful healthy habits to help families with kids and teens prioritize physical, mental and spiritual well being – fostering a lifestyle of shared growth and lifelong wellness. Healthy habits built together are the ones that last a lifetime.

You may not realize it, but your family has an invisible thread tying together every part of who you are and how you do things, to create your family identity. Your last name, genetics or living under one roof definitely plays a part, but how you show up in the world is what truly shapes that identity. 

In fact, it’s built every day through your routines, beliefs, traditions, conversations, relationships and more. Your family identity influences everything from the media you consume to how you resolve conflict to the way you interact with one another, extended family, friends, community and even strangers! When children grow up with a strong family identity, it helps them develop a feeling of belonging and purpose while also providing them with a stronger sense of self.

Family Identity Gives Kids Something to Return To 

Research supports the importance of kids growing up with a strong family connection and shared values. In fact, a study by the National Institute of Health stated in 2019 that children that experience growing up in a family that puts a focus on values around faith, community and/or communication are significantly more likely to demonstrate higher self esteem, emotional resilience and healthy decision-making skills into adolescence and adulthood. Every family is going to have a different identity based on what personally matters most. 

Maybe you’re an outdoorsy family prioritizing unplugging together. Perhaps your family values the arts and goes to support local theatre or museums each month. It could look like highlighting and being environmentally conscious, valuing travel, showing up for less fortunate members of the community…what matters is being intentional about the values shaping your kids. 

Simple Ways to Get Started

Here are a few ideas to help build your family identity as a simple and tangible practice. 

#1 Write a Family Values Statement Together 

Identify a handful of words or phrases that mirror your family’s principles and values. You could even create a word bank, so younger kids can help choose things like honesty, kindness, strength, curiosity, helpfulness, etc. This activity helps build a language about who your family is, so you can return to it during challenging times as well as celebrations. 

#2 Design a Family Banner or Crest

If your kids love history or fantasy, this will be a fun one! Draw or head to the computer to design symbols, colors and phrases that express your family’s values, traditions, inside jokes, strengths and more. Let the little ones decorate while the older kids do more of the brainstorming here. Place this visual somewhere in the house, so everyone can see it. 

#3 Establish Meaningful Family Rituals 

Think about what kind of repeated practices help solidify your family identity. Do you have a movie night every Saturday? Family bike ride or holiday food drive? Do you share what your favorite part of the day was at the dinner table? What little rituals can you add in to echo “who we are” as a family? 

Creating Practices That Last a Lifetime

As parents and guardians, there is a special opportunity to shape not just the atmosphere we raise our children in but also the traditions, values, conversations and intention we lead them through. Taking time to think about the family identity you want to build in your home helps give your kids a strong foundation they will stand on not only for how they view their family, but their own individuality, as well. Long after they leave your home, pieces of that identity will continue to guide them as they show up in every facet of life.