After losing Bella to kidney failure in January, I swore to everyone I would never be able to get another puppy. Watching life fade out of her big brown eyes was the hardest thing I ever witnessed. This said, it surprised everyone, including myself, when this past June, our family decided to adopt a new black and white Shih Tzu named Bandido.
This decision was not an easy one. Bella’s death left a huge hole in my heart; one that, no matter how busy I was, nothing seemed to fill. After speaking with several friends who had gone through the same thing, I realized there was no correct answer for if we should get another one. Some friends waited weeks before getting a new friend, while others were never able to adopt again.
The first thing that helped me realize a new dog would soon be in our family’s life was how I reacted towards other dogs. When a pup walked by, I was like a child, bending down and fawning over him or her. Also viewing how much my children desperately missed Bella helped our decision. When we saw how excited they would get around other dogs made me determine that we should be open to adopting a new one soon. While my decision was a personal one, if you are going through the same thing, read on for a few tips that helped me make my final decision.
Tip #1: Allow yourself to grieve. After any type of significant death, it is normal to react rashly. However, these first few weeks are important to the grieving process. These are times when you should allow yourself to lean into the sadness and properly heal. It is completely normal to be sad, angry or lonely for a while. Avoid immediately filling this void with a new dog if you have not processed your feelings over the loss of your last dog. If so, you may end up placing negative feelings onto your new dog or having unreasonable expectations.
Tip #2: Realize no dog will replace your previous one. This was a difficult yet necessary step for me. I knew that no other dog would ever replace my sassy girl, but I also realized this was a beautiful thing. I began to become excited to meet this new animal and get to know his or her unique personality. While it may be normal at first to compare the new pup to your former one, it is vital not to do this. Remember, every dog is different and will have its own strengths and weaknesses.
Tip #3: Consider everyone – including pets – in your decision. For us, this was an easy step, considering we all were on board. However, when my husband lost his dog, McKensie, a black lab, to stomach cancer in 2019, we decided it would be best to not get another dog, at least immediately. Bella was so devastated over this loss, we had to put her on medication, therefore, we felt getting a brand-new pup would not bode well for her mental health. We also had two little ones under two around the same time, and we did not think we had the bandwidth to sign on for a new pup. Like everything in life, timing is everything with this decision.
Tip #4: Realize how much life will change with a new family member. Getting a new dog truly is like having a new child. Everything changes. When we finally decided to get a new puppy, I needed to draw out a budget for expenses. We also realized our carefree weekend trips would soon be over. We now had to consider our new friend and if the location was pup friendly.
Tip #5: Realize how much work puppies can be! While I loved Bella, she had developed a few unpleasant habits that I should have gotten under control early on. When we knew that we would be getting a new puppy, my husband and I were quick to sign up for some local puppy obedience classes. A variety of local pet stores offer them, and already, I can vouch for them to be worth every penny. While “Dido” is not perfect, he is already learning many things that are vital towards having a well behaved pooch.
In the end, we are pleased with our decision to invite Dido to our family. While I may always have a hole in my heart, I can attest it is not as big as it was after Bella’s death. And, in a way, I can thank Bella herself for helping play a part in making me realize my heart still had plenty of room for loving another pup.
