This August will mark one year since I sent my oldest daughter off to college. Everyone always knows how big this moment is for the teenager and they need to prepare, but oftentimes the parents get overlooked. This is even more true if, like me, it’s the first child you’ve sent off to college. Looking back, there is a lot I wish I knew then, especially on the things I should have known. I’ve put together a few of those nuggets of knowledge I wish I had known in advance in hopes it helps other parents of college bound kids this fall!
Trust the Foundation You Built
No matter how much you’ve tried to prepare them for college and, well, life, they are never going to be prepared for everything. Life has this “fun” way of constantly throwing curve balls, so there is no way you can cover all the bases. Don’t beat yourself up about that! Just try to impart as much wisdom and love as you can because that’s all that matters.
A Milestone Full of Emotion
Move-in day brings so many emotions – for you as the parent and for your child. Excitement, fear, anticipation, sadness and anxiety, to name a few. Remember there is no right or wrong way to feel. It’s okay to bawl on the way home. Not crying, that’s okay, too! Just plan to feel emotional that day though, no matter what those emotions might be.
Support from the Sidelines
While your teen is trying for their full independence, the reality is most kids that age don’t have much life experience or knowledge. Whether they want to admit to it or not, they are going to need your help and advice at some point during that first year. It might be in the first hour or during finals. It’s a delicate balance of giving them their space but also being there for them.
Stay Ahead of the Details
There are so many details to keep track of in college. Try to make lists or stay organized with everything that needs to be done leading up to college, during move-in day/weekend and those first few weeks they are there. Have shared lists when possible using apps like Google Docs or Sheets. This also helps to avoid miscommunications on tasks to be done.
Communication Strengthens Connection
While they want and need their space and you need to adjust to them not being home, it’s vital to stay in communication. That first year of college tends to be the hardest. It’s a huge adjustment for everyone. Whether you send a quick text saying “hi” or send a snap of an image of your day, it’s sure to remind them you are there for them.
