I have always learned my lessons the hard way. When I embarked on a career as a freelance writer, I never could have fully envisioned all the rejection slips from magazines and websites that would come unrelentingly my way. It seemed like they arrived with a particular ferocity aimed at specifically diminishing my self esteem and attacking the stories into which I had poured my heart and soul. When I received one of those missives from the prestigious The New Yorker, I was so devastated that I didn’t write for a year. I was awash in self pity and self abnegation and retreated into solitude where I could secretly lick my emotional wounds. It wasn’t until I read Shakespeare’s “Measure For Measure” that I picked myself up and redoubled my efforts to get published. His words, “our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good that we oft might win, By fearing to attempt,” hit me with a particular fury, and I never looked back. As Billy Crystal’s character says in “Throw Momma From the Train” to his student, played by Danny DeVito, “a writer writes.” That became my personal mantra. It has allowed me to never give up what is my most important dream – to bring my love of the spoken word to print in the hope that others might see its merit.

The truth is that giving up is the path of least resistance. I have yet to meet someone who has never felt disillusioned or had challenges that they were not able to overcome. Here’s the thing –  failure IS important. If you fail, you can move on to evaluate what occurred, applying whatever lessons you have learned from the experience so that you can move on. Some people characterize this as “tough self-love.” Setbacks, failures and disappointments are actually good for you. In a sense, they are the best education you can get because they teach you how to adapt. One famous American inventor, Thomas Edison, spoke directly to how doggedly he continued his efforts, even in the face of numerically overwhelming failures: “I speak without exaggeration when I say that I have constructed three thousand different theories in connection with the electric light, each one of them reasonable and apparently to be true. Yet, only in two cases did my experiments prove the truth of my theory.” Failure didn’t stop Edison, and it shouldn’t stop you – instead, reframe it as one of the best ways to learn and to grow, thus enlarging your toolkit of emotional intelligence and resiliency.

Never giving up can lead to a healthy and vibrant life, preventing the development of negative quitting patterns. It can create unwavering self belief, aiding you in developing patience, discipline and perseverance. You deserve to be happy and successful. You should never give up because the truth is that your past (and any perceived failures therein) does NOT determine your future. Keep a key phrase in your mind – the past is back there. In my readings, I was especially struck by a quote on the website “havingtime.com” by Lesya Li: “Everything is possible. Anything unattempted remains impossible.” Derive inspiration from famous people who failed famously – writers like James Joyce, Virginia Woolf and Charles Dickens whose works were constantly dismissed by prospective publishers. I think of President Biden, on one TV special, who complained to a journalist that he had asked his wife FIVE TIMES to marry him before she accepted. And, when I need a good laugh, I think of the movie “My Cousin Vinny” whose central character (a lawyer) tells his cousin’s friend that he had to take the bar SIX TIMES before he finally passed. Having taken the bar exam myself in a previous life, I can tell you that is an experience no one wants to take – even once.

You should never give up because when you achieve whatever your designated goal is, you will feel amazingly happy. The exuberant feeling of accomplishment that comes when you have pushed through all the difficult times and feelings of self doubt is its own immense reward. Only quit if your objective no longer has interest or value – not because it is the easy thing to do. If you find it is difficult not to give up, build a support system which encourages you at times when you feel like quitting. Look for mentors, friends and sources of inspiration that will keep you on track. Sir Winston Churchill famously said, “never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never – in nothing, great or small, large or petty, except to convictions of honour and good sense.” I keep that quote on my refrigerator, leaning on its penultimate good wisdom every single day. So far, so good – I haven’t given up yet.