As a father, I’ve come to realize that time is a peculiar thing. When you’re young, it feels like an endless resource, something you can afford to waste. As you get older, you start to see time for what it truly is – a precious, fleeting gift. It’s funny how we don’t think much about time until we start to see it slipping through our fingers like sand. Or, when we start to notice its effects – like when you find yourself grumbling about “kids these days” or realize that your favorite band is now considered “classic rock.” Our kids seem to grow up overnight. One day, they’re asking for bedtime stories, and the next, they’re asking for the car keys. You would think they were time travelers! It’s a reminder of how time is always moving forward, whether we’re ready for it or not.

Mark Twain once said, “The secret of getting ahead is getting started.” But, when it comes to appreciating time, the secret is simply to stop and take notice. 

I remember when my first-born son took his first steps on New Year’s Eve 1999. Yeah, that one, when we were all afraid the power would go out and we would be in survival mode until someone could figure out how to add two digits to the year on the computer. It was a moment of pure joy and a reminder of how quickly it all passes. One minute, he was a baby learning to crawl, and the next, he was toddling around the living room, exploring his world. 

Then there were the times I taught both my sons (individually) how to drive while I inconspicuously held onto the hand lever above the passenger window with my right hand and kept my left hand subtly on top of the hand break. (Advice a State Trooper once offered me.) It was worrying in the beginning, but eventually, the blood flowed back into my fingers and I made it through.

Being a parent is hard work. It plays on our patience, maturity, understanding and commitment to doing what’s right, even when you don’t know exactly what that is. Brené Brown, a researcher known for her work on vulnerability, said, “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.” As a father, I’ve learned that just being present and showing up for my family, even when I don’t have all the answers, is what really matters.

I’ve also learned to understand an obscure truth about parenting. It’s not always about the big moments you share, but, oftentimes, it’s more about the simpler moments that have a lasting impact on their lives. Tony Robbins once said, “It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives, but what we do consistently.” The magic lies in the everyday moments, the bedtime stories, game nights, movie nights, the family dinners and the spontaneous jokes and casual conversations while gathered in the kitchen after dinner that create many lasting memories. The secret in these moments is nicely captured by Psychologist Barbara Fredrickson’s explanation, “Love is that micro-moment of warmth and connection that you share with another living being.” It’s these shared experiences that bind us together, and the ones we need to hold onto. They may seem insignificant at the time, but they’re the ones that stay with you, long after the kids have grown up and moved out.

“Time flies, but memories last forever.” While we can’t stop time, unfortunately, we can make the most of the moments we have. We can create memories that will stay with us and bring us joy and comfort in the years to come. In the end, it’s not about how much time we have, but how we choose to spend it. It’s about being present, about appreciating the people in our lives and the moments we share. Again, Sinek reminds us, “The value of our lives is not determined by what we do for ourselves. The value of our lives is determined by what we do for others.” This rings especially true when it comes to family. The quality time we spend with our children, family, spouses and friends – these are the moments that define us.

Academy Award winner and humanitarian, Audrey Hepburn, expressed, “The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.” This holiday season, let’s make the most of this time we share. Let’s laugh, love and create memories that will last a lifetime. Because, in the end, it’s not the years in our life that count, but rather, the life in our years.

Musical Selection – Micah Edwards – December 26 (Lyric Video)

I’d like to wish blessings upon all those affected by the tragic natural disasters this year. To our neighbors in Western North Carolina, may you persevere, rebuild and make new again the wonderful communities that we all know and love. Our thoughts and prayers continue to be with you.  

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