There is a quote about parenthood in the movie “The Back-up Plan” that has always stuck with me. One of the dads on the playgrounds tells a soon-to-be dad what parenthood is REALLY like.
He says, “It’s awful, awful, awful. Then, a small moment happens that’s so magical. That makes it all worthwhile.”
To me, no truer words have ever been spoken about parenthood!
As moms, we tend to always try to be strong and appear like everything in our world is okay, but the reality is, it never is. Being a parent is incredibly tough, often stressful and, as that dad stated, sometimes awful.
I’m not really sure how we got to this point of feeling like we need to sugarcoat everything and make all other parents feel they need to act like every bit of parenting is so amazing.
So, today I want to keep it honest and share the real side of motherhood people don’t always talk about. That “awful” side. I’m sharing this in hopes that it’s a reminder to all other parents reading this that you are not alone, and feeling this way doesn’t make you a bad parent!
The Vacation We Wanted to End
Last year, my mother passed away, and she loved Christmas even more than me which is saying a lot. Therefore, the thought of being around here and constantly reminded of her was so hard, so we ended up going down to Clearwater, Florida for the holiday.
Did it have some of those magical moments? Absolutely. Did it have some of those awful moments? In spades.
For starters, it is a 10-and-a-half hour drive in each direction. Did I mention I have three daughters who, at the time, were six months old, 18 months old and 17 years old? We had decided to break the drive up and stop halfway overnight. It helped for sure, but a ride with a baby and a toddler for any extended amount of time is…well, not my or most people’s idea of fun.
While we might not easily forget those lengthy and stressful drives, this vacation had something much worse in store for us. Christmas night, our youngest daughter, the baby, was pretty fussy and had a slight fever. We gave her some Tylenol, got her to sleep and hoped it was teething.
Around 4:00 a.m., she was screaming like I’ve never heard before, so knowing something was not right, we went in search of a hospital. Luckily, we found one nearby and, after a lot of waiting and a very long morning, found out she had Covid. We all ended up with it over the next day or two. Not the ideal way to spend a vacation!
Thankfully, we had rented a house, so we had our own space, and it even had a pool for us to use when we were feeling up to it. That drive home was probably the longest drive of my life – and this comes from someone whose family is from New Hampshire, and we made that journey from NC to NH many times!
While I won’t necessarily forget those awful moments, I remind myself of those magical moments we had prior to Covid like visiting the Crayola Museum in Orlando or seeing Santa at the Clearwater Mall on Christmas Eve. Or of the time we got to spend as a family watching TV, hanging out and playing Nintendo.
All Chaos Breaks Loose Upon Returning from Vacation
I’m not sure what it is with our family and vacations, but they seem to bring bad luck. This summer, we stayed down in Hilton Head, and our two youngest daughters are clearly not the best car trip riders! This ride wasn’t nearly as long but felt like it lasted forever due to these two littles!
However, it wasn’t the vacation itself but the return that kicked us into those awful moments. The day after we got home, I had a flat tire. The day after that, our refrigerator broke, and the day after that, one of our daughters got sick with a cold. It was another long week of motherhood.
Did I post about all that on social media? Nope. Does a part of me wish I could so maybe I could have had a sympathetic ear? Yep. But again, we moms always try to act like all is okay when the real side of motherhood is that it’s often not. Even if it’s just a bad day or a bad hour, we should feel okay sharing this “awful” side as much as the “magical” side.
The next time you are having a real mom day or moment, share it with a family member, friend or even on social media. You’ll probably be surprised that almost every single mom or parent out there can relate!
