Scott Ertl loves helping families – whether it’s simply reminding them to breathe and relax, or making sure they laugh together and feel the love they have for each other.
After 22 years as a school counselor, Scott retired five years ago and has facilitated Parent-Child retreats for schools and churches off-and-on for more than 18 years. He offers this analogy to paint the clearest picture of his goals! “You know when it’s a heavy downpour and your windshield wipers just aren’t working well? That’s the last time you want to be out there changing the windshield wipers to put new ones on. And then, by Saturday afternoon, it’s escaped your memory to change those wipers – until the next rainy day. You may now be asking, ‘What does that have to do with anything?’ Many families have hectic mornings, frustrating meals and drawn-out bedtime routines that are stressful for all. There is simply not the time (or mindset) to create positive alternatives because they are feeling defensive, reactive or rushed. And, when there is a calm time, it’s simply not on their mind (like changing those wipers). Parent-Child Retreats offer a time for families to talk about what’s working well and what they want to improve when they are feeling calm, creative and in partnership with each other, instead of adversarial,” he shares.
Scott’s retreats – which include pairs of one child with one parent – also offer fun times to play games, laugh and reminisce about enjoyable times from the past.
“Through humor and meaningful conversations, we create dialogue where there may have more recently been silence,” he adds, a good reminder that our daily lives can always be better!
Scott has trained hundreds of school counselors, PTA leaders and school principals to facilitate his style of retreats and authored the book “How to Facilitate a Parent-Child Retreat” to help counselors plan, publicize and coordinate their own events with confidence and success.
Personally, he now schedules one local retreat per month, for organizations able to attract at least 50 parent-child pairs to attend.
“My wife and I have two school-age boys, so I don’t give up many Saturdays to facilitate retreats now since we’re going to baseball and basketball games, Scouts, JROTC and wrestling events with them.”
Scott shares that his favorite part of each retreat is the surprise at the end.
“The parent and child write a love letter to each other. I give them specific prompts and ideas to make it easy. The kids are so excited to give it to their parents, but I stop them from doing so right then. Instead, I ask them to go someplace special when they leave the retreat, like a park, favorite tree, backyard or church so they can share it with each other and explain what meant most to them from their letter. The next time they are feeling out of sorts with each other, they can ask the other to go back to the rock/tree/park to talk and reconnect.”
Parent Kristal Howard, who attended a recent retreat at Ward Elementary, is eager to spread praise for the process.
“The Parent-Child Retreat, facilitated by Scott Ertl, was nothing short of phenomenal. It’s hard to put into words, but the entire time I was there, I kept thinking how thankful I was to have signed my son, Abel, and myself up to attend. I also kept thinking to myself how great it would be to have this retreat at other schools, particularly at the school where I formerly worked and where I work currently. Even our church! The interaction, the opportunities for reflection, the hands-on activities, the movement, the modality, the ‘a-ha’ moments and the ‘I am not alone’ moments – the entire three-hour session was very engaging and extremely enlightening! Five stars! Highly recommend!”
Bonding through laughter, fun and heart-to-heart conversation is just the beginning when it comes to making every day as a family even better than the day before!
Ideal for elementary, middle and high schools, as well as colleges, community centers, churches and businesses, Scott Ertl is grateful to share his expertise and train others to lead Parent-Child Retreats. Reach Scott at 336.765.7319 or email Scott@playshops.com, and visit parentchildretreats.com for more information.
