I must admit I was having trouble coming up with this month’s article. I started on one several times only to erase it each time. As I was turning over in my mind what to write about, I glanced over at a gift we received this Christmas. It is a wonderful frame that pictures can be sent to at any time from anyone you allow access. Our daughters have already sent several, and it was seeing them that helped clear my blocked brain.
Responsibility. At what age do we become aware that things are expected of us? I’m not sure some people ever get that message, but I digress. My mom was always amazed by the things I could remember from when I was three years old. I still have memories of certain events but wonder if now it is because of pictures I saw or stories I heard. I tend to think that most of the ones I vividly remember are because they had an impact on me. So, do I remember doing anything that would count as a responsibility? Not at age three for sure.
The age of five is when I know there were certain things expected of me. It was my job to set the table for dinner. I was to put away my toys after I finished playing with them, and I was to take my dishes to the kitchen and throw away any trash. I know for a fact that I was often reminded to do the previously mentioned items.
As a stay-at-home mom, my daughters had certain things expected of them, but no specific chores. I remember trying a chore chart, but with the three of them, their after school schedules and homework, sometimes it was easier to do things myself. Looking back, I realize that was not a good example to set. As in life, we occasionally have tasks we’d rather not do, but we shouldn’t expect others to do them for us.
I remember reading about one mom who put a box at the bottom of the stairs. She would collect things that her children brought down that belonged in their rooms. All she asked them to do was take it up at the end of the day. There was also a box at the top of the stairs to return things that belonged downstairs. She decided that the items must not be special to them if they remained in the box. She hid them away. When her kids started looking for them, she gave them a chance to have them returned. However, the next time it happened, it was their last warning. They had to earn the right to get them back. Knowing she was serious, the boxes soon became empty.
Interestingly, of my seven grandchildren, it is the youngest who will clean up the playroom and his room, sometimes without being told. The others are pretty good about it. A couple of them need to be asked, sometimes several times. When I am staying with them, they know I will expect them to help out. I see a chore/reward chart in their future.
Responsibility. As parents and grandparents, it is up to us to teach our children and grandchildren the importance of being responsible and taking responsibility for one’s actions or inactions. This is a lesson most learn early on in life, but they may need the occasional reminder – especially when the boxes at the bottom and top of the stairs start filling up.
