by SHERIDAN C. WATKINS
What makes your family unique? Every family has its own identity, shaped by the values, traditions and culture that bind you together. We’ve heard the saying that we don’t choose our family; that is true, but God does and He desires for us to create a family legacy that honors Him. It’s important to appreciate and celebrate our family history and discern how to move forward as an impactful unit. Purposeful conversations and planning will tighten a family bond for generations, so let’s talk about how to pave the way.
Word Association and Legacy
It might feel taboo, but getting the family together for unconventional conversations is helpful. A simple conversation starter could be for the whole family to think about what words they want to be associated with the family name. It’s different for each family, but thinking about this can help guide how you live and interact with the world. Do you want your family to be known for kindness, resilience or creativity? Maybe it’s integrity, generosity or a sense of adventure. Whatever it is, defining these core values is a great first step in shaping your family’s identity.
This can lead to talking about a family legacy you want to establish or continue. This is the lasting impact your family will have, both on each other and the world. Could you be the family that always gives back to the community, shares wisdom and integral history, or always lends a helping hand? When you’ve decided, embody those values in your everyday lives, and over time, the collective family will be known for those very things.
Building and Dismantling Identities
All families have accomplishments to be proud of and sinful patterns they want to eradicate. To preserve the good and prune the undesirable, history must be discussed. Include the young family members so negative history doesn’t repeat itself. Contrary to what some may believe, sharing it all will give them a strong sense of family identity and empower them to make their own choices to contribute to the family story that is still being written. No matter their ages, every family member plays a role and has the insight to share, so make everyone feel included in the process of evolving the family legacy.
Keep it Light with Family Traditions
As you weave the tougher conversations into family gatherings, there should still be times for celebrations and fun filled occasions. Traditions are a family’s heartbeat. You can create new traditions or honor those passed down through generations. Whether it’s a weekly game night, an annual trip or coming together during the holidays, make sure family gatherings don’t become associated with uncomfortable or tense discussions. There can be a healthy balance of work and play.
Your family is a powerful God-ordained system that can guide you in life’s ups and downs. By embracing your heritage, addressing hardships, having important conversations, instilling strong values and still having fun, you will build a strong identity that leads to an honorable legacy. So, take time to reflect on what makes your family special, involve everyone in the journey and remember that the story you’re writing today will be the one your family treasures for generations to come.
