Each month, this series introduces fun and impactful healthy habits to help families with kids and teens prioritize physical, mental and spiritual well being – fostering a lifestyle of shared growth and lifelong wellness. Healthy habits built together are the ones that last a lifetime.
How many times have you failed at something only to feel shame or guilt take over? Somewhere along the way in your childhood, you were made to feel like success was the best or only option. The truth is, failing is a skill, and some of the most successful people in history understood that. We often shield our kids from mistakes, avoid getting hurt or help them avoid disappointment, when letting them find growth in their failures is the best gift we can give!
Raising Healthy Risk Takers & Highly Adaptable Kids
It doesn’t matter if you’re five or 50, learning how to move past failure is a skill that makes all the difference in how we move through life. Imagine asking yourself, “what could I learn?” instead of “what if I fail?” This line of thinking opens a person up to explore new interests, volunteer for new opportunities, use their voice and push themselves out of their comfort zone. Teaching the kids in your life that failure is always on the table and that’s more than okay gives them the understanding that progress looks messy usually before it looks successful.
The world needs less perfectionists and more risk takers willing to try!
Simple Ways to Get Started
Here are three ideas on how to teach failure as a family value while still holding up success and growth as another:
#1 Talk About Your Own Failures
Even when it feels uncomfortable, let your kids see you fail. Share with them when something doesn’t go as planned at work, with a friend or on a personal project. Share how it makes you feel, what you learned from it and how you’re planning to adjust or move forward. Exhibiting your own failures shows your family members how you’re handling them and can how they can learn from you.
#2 Create Low-Pressure Spaces to Fail
Most people – especially children and teens – aim to do their best when they put their mind to something. Allowing yourself to be bad at something takes practice, so give your kids permission to do just that! Try something new as a family where none of you are experts, like cooking a brand new recipe or trying a new sport or art project together. “When kids see that it’s safe to fail at home, they’re more willing to take risks elsewhere,” says Parents Magazine.
#3 Don’t Let Results Oriented “Wins” Win
Of course, you want to see your son’s sports team come in first place or your daughter get winning grades. It’s more than okay to want our children to win at things, but what if we shifted perspective to praise their effort, curiosity and persistence just as much? Growth is always the goal, and failure is part of growing. Adopt language that reinforces that value in your family comes from trying, learning and going out of our comfort zones.
Creating Practices That Last a Lifetim
Children who grow up learning that failure is not only an option, but feel supported in their journey along the way, develop next level confidence in life. As your family embraces failure as a family value, remind yourself that you’re not lowering expectations for one another, you’re encouraging resilience, curiosity and effort over outcome!
Your kids are going to be able to walk into adulthood with a different mindset than their peers. When the ever changing world demands adaptability from them, they won’t freeze – they’ll be able to meet it unafraid of stumbling and with the confidence to adjust and learn each step of the way.
