The older I get, the wiser I feel. And, honestly, that feels like a fair trade. With every year, we collect experiences, some joyful, some painful, yet ultimately, all instructive. But, wisdom doesn’t just arrive with age; it comes when we choose to learn from what life hands us. Every misstep, every awkward moment, every “I should’ve done it this way” is a breadcrumb on the path toward clarity.
In the workplace, experience teaches us how to navigate personalities, solve problems and spot concerns before they arrive. But, not everyone gets the memo at the same pace. Some of us are quick studies; others take the scenic route. Either way, if you’re paying attention, you’ll figure it out. And, if you don’t? Maybe you’re not in the right place to begin with, and that realization can be the gift of change you needed.
This past year brought two milestones to my family – my niece welcomed her first child, and my son got engaged to his wonderful fiancée. Two very different life chapters, both filled with anticipation and hope. Plans are made, Pinterest boards are filled and dreams take shape. However, as we all know, life rarely follows the script. Sometimes things fall through, and sometimes things work out even better. And, “sometimes things fall apart so that better things can fall together.” ~ Marilyn Monroe. You won’t know till you know.
In his book, Theodore Roosevelt: An Autobiography (1913), to “sum up one’s duty in life,” Roosevelt attributed the following quote to Squire Bill Widener: “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” That’s pretty sound advice for people experiencing uncertainty and afraid of making the wrong choice. While every decision carries risk, it also carries momentum. One door leads to another. Don’t expect perfection, just go with what you know in the moment. Regardless of the outcome, know that another door lies ahead.
I’ve realized that, at every stage, after perhaps puberty, which is its own chaotic beast, we think we’ve got it all figured out. Then life, in all its mischievous brilliance, throws a curveball. Suddenly, the map changes. One opportunity vanishes, and another appears. It can feel a bit like a pinball, bouncing off bumpers with no control. But, here’s the thing – the game isn’t over unless you give up. Those flippers at the bottom? They’re your tools. Your instincts. Your support system. If you recognize that those levers exist to help you, save you, allow you to score more points in life and keep the game going a little longer, you can take advantage and celebrate the results. The wizard himself, Tommy Walker, understood this metaphor very well. Life’s more fun when you learn to use the levers.
Right now, depending on where you are in your journey, you might feel overwhelmed, uncertain or just plain tired. Maybe you’re raising kids, caring for aging parents, navigating a career pivot or rediscovering yourself after a major life change. Whatever it is, you’re not alone. Everyone’s got something.
Take my niece, for example. She’s a new mom, and while her baby is beautiful and healthy, she’s swimming in questions. Sleep schedules, feeding routines, developmental milestones, it’s a lot. And yes, she’ll feel exhausted, unsure and maybe even a little inadequate at times. But, she’ll get through it. Because life has a built-in support system for parents: it’s called time. Babies grow. Kids evolve. Parents survive the teen years, and teens eventually become adults. That’s when the report cards come out, and parents find out how they did. With any luck, you look back and realize you did better than you thought.
Then there’s my son and his fiancée, standing at the edge of a new beginning. Marriage is a leap of faith; a mutual adventure filled with experiences yet to be shared, lessons yet to be learned, compromises to be made and, finally, love and laughter to enjoy. The adventure is just beginning, and uncertainty is simply a byproduct. They’ll get some things right, and some things will be messy. But, if they’re lucky, and I think they are, they’ll have each other to hold onto through it all. That’s a pretty sweet deal.
So, what about you?
As you read this, I know you’ve got something on your mind. A decision to make. A worry that won’t quiet down. Something’s there. How do I know? Because everybody’s got something. Vulnerability is simply a part of the human experience. While your situation may feel uniquely complicated, chances are someone else has walked a similar path. Answers exist. Support exists. And, if you haven’t found it yet, keep going. That next door is closer than you think.
If you’re in a good place right now, steady, content, maybe even thriving, consider reaching out to others, checking in and being a friend. You might just be the passageway to their next door.
“…as long as I keep moving, I know that I’ll be alright.” ~ Quinn XCII.
Musical Selection: Quinn XCII – Yellow Brick Road (Official Lyric Video)
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